


Before You Go

by Anonyme1



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-11
Updated: 1999-05-11
Packaged: 2018-11-11 02:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11139441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonyme1/pseuds/Anonyme1
Summary: Ray saysgood-bye to his family and friends before going undercover.





	Before You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Before You Go

Hi again! Here is a DS3 story for you. I wrote this for my friend Karen, who gives me encouragement to keep doing this. The standard disclaimer applies-The characters don't belong to me, I wish they did. I am returning them unharmed. Thanks to Karen and Jen for their valuable help. You guys are great. 

As for a rating, give it a G. There is no bad language, no vilence, nothing of the sort. I will give it a T warning though. T standing for tissue. For those who desire it, Thatcher appears, briefly, so you have been warned. 

As always, comments welcome at 

Rebecca ----------------------------------------------- 

# Before You Go

by Rebecca Warth 

Ben looked out the window, lost in his memories. So much had happened since he had arrived in Chicago. He had met Ray and discovered that in Ray, he had a true friend. That friendship had been sorely tested and almost destroyed when Victoria had walked back into his life. But that was what she had planned. Burn the bridges and never look back. He looked back on that time in his life with warring emotions, each threatening to take control. Angry at how he had been used by her. Guilty because of the hell he'd put Ray through. Sad because of what could never be and what could never be taken back. The emotion that finally won the war was embarrassment. How could I have been so blind, so stupid, so naive, so...trusting, he thought. 

He turned from the window, the snow falling outside a painful reminder of what he'd had and what he'd lost because of her. Time had healed most of the wounds, but Victoria had caused a gaping hole in his soul. Even as he moved on with his life, Victoria haunted him. How could he ever completely trust someone again? Would anyone ever be able to trust him again? What would happen if that trust, once achieved, was betrayed? Would he be able to survive it? Would they? Too many unanswerable questions, and the man needed answers. 

Why was he thinking about this again? Each time he did, he understood his actions even less than he had before. Was it because Ray was leaving and, in Ben's mind, so much had not yet been settled between them? They had long since forgiven each other. The words had not been spoken, but there had been a feeling of peace. Why had it now been disturbed? 

Ben looked at the clock, realizing he should be getting ready. It was almost time to say goodbye to the one true friend he had in Chicago, or for that matter, the only true friend he'd ever had in his life. He'd said goodbye to many people in his life. His family, school friends, RCMP classmates, why was tonight proving to be so difficult? 

* 

He looked at his reflection, making sure everything was perfect. The suit was a perfect fit. Perfect fit, perfect color. That's what Ray had told him when they had gone to purchase it for a Consulate function that called for something other than the Red Serge he normally wore. That was a good day, Ben thought, remembering the things they had done. Shopping for the suit, having lunch, going to the basketball game. Would there ever be another day like that one again? 

A knock on the door shook him from his reverie. He walked slowly to the door, hoping that somehow, his hesitation might make all of this go away like a bad dream. Another knock on the door was his reward. After standing at the door for what seemed an eternity, he opened it, knowing full well it was time. 

Meg stood quietly at the door. When she asked if he was ready, she could see the emotions playing across his face. This man who seldom let anyone know what he was thinking or feeling, couldn't hide the pain he felt tonight. The sight of him in such agony was more than she could bear. She reached out her hand and grasped his. That simple, caring gesture was enough. For both of them. 

Not trusting his voice, he simply nodded. Turning to grab his coat, he closed the door and prepared to face the evening. 

* 

The Vecchio household was subdued. A very unusual occurrence, but then again, tonight was not a normal night. Fraser and Meg walked up the steps of Ray's house. Ben noticed how quiet it was and how unnatural it felt. Would it ever feel like home again? As they waited at the door, Ben looked over at the woman standing next to him. She looked beautiful, but that was nothing new. To him she always looked that way. He was glad she had accompanied him tonight. Ray was not her favorite person, but they had come to an uneasy truce with each realizing the other was a capable police officer. That had been the only common ground they had shared, but for tonight, it was enough. 

The door opened to reveal a conservatively dressed Francesca. Stepping aside to allow them entry, Frannie asked if she could take their coats. Once the coats had been removed and placed in the closet, she led them into the family room, where the other members of the Vecchio family and some of Ray's colleagues had gathered. 

Greetings were stated and then quiet returned. Quiet talk could be heard amongst some of the guests, but most stood looking at the clock. Waiting. 

* 

The clock on the mantle struck 8. It wouldn't be long now. And then it would be over. His friend would be gone. Did he have enough time to say what needed to be said? Or was it already too late? 

There was another knock on the door and, as Frannie went to answer it, looks of expectation and sadness passed over the faces of those gathered. A moment later, two men, unfamiliar to most walked in and checked the room. Once satisfied, they left, only to return moments later with the person they had all gathered to see. 

* 

Ray walked into his house for what he knew could be the last time. After tonight, he realized his life would forever change. No one would know where he was. The communications would be scarce and even in the best possible case, risky. For both himself and his family. More than that, he knew that even if everything went smoothly, he might not be able to return. He had been warned that it was a possibility and it was a decision he had agonized over. But in the long run, he knew what he had to do. Tonight, however, looking at the faces of his friends and the people he loved most in the world, he wondered if he had made the right decision. 

When Ray stepped into the family room, the process of saying goodbye began. 

* 

His family huddled around him. His mother crying, and praying for the safety of her son. Frannie and Maria tried to console mother and son, but only ended up needing consolation themselves. They would be allowed a little time later for their final goodbyes. Ray knew that, but it didn't ease the guilt he felt for putting his family through this hell. He hoped they understood why he felt he had to do this, but knew deep in his heart that they could never completely understand. 

As his mother and sisters released him, he turned and looked at his colleagues. Lt. Welsh came up to him first. The words shared between the two men were warm and friendly. Welsh told Ray that he would look after his family and that no matter what, they would be taken care of. Ray thanked his commanding officer, who had become much like a father to him over the last few years. The kind of father Ray wished he had known growing up. Supportive and kind, but not willing to let you lose sight of what was important and what needed to be done. As they embraced, both men fought back the tears which eventually fell. 

Jack and Elaine stood next in line. For a moment no one moved, nothing was said. Then Elaine looked at Ray and with desperation grabbed him to her. Jack came up behind them and put his arms around them both. Jack thought about the rivalry between himself and Ray. It had been worse while Louis was alive, but even then, there had been a grudging respect. Never openly acknowledged, but there. As they stood there, Jack quietly acknowledged his faith in Ray's abilities and that he was proud to serve along side him. Ray took the praise without his usual sarcasm. He accepted what Jack said, thanked him, and returned the same praise that he had just received. Elaine relaxed her hold on Ray as he turned her face up to his. He wished her luck, saying that he knew she would make an excellent police officer. Elaine in turned wished him godspeed, kissed him lightly on the cheek and let him go. 

Angie stood looking at her ex-husband as he turned to her. Things hadn't worked out between them, but they had been able to become friends. Angie told him she would miss his friendship. Ray returned the sentiments. As they hugged again, Angie told him to be careful and that she had faith that he could do what was being asked of him. Ray looked at her as she let him go, wishing things had been different, could be different, but knowing that it would take more than wishing for things to change. 

Meg was next. Neither Ray nor Meg realized this would be as hard as it was turning out to be. They slowly approached one another and then embraced. They both tried speaking at once, laughing slightly at the attempt. Ray allowed Meg to go first. She wished him well, saying she knew he would be able to handle what lie ahead. Her respect for him was obvious and he felt a bit uncomfortable. He liked it better when they were sparring. That he could handle. He wanted to say something, anything to go back to that place, comfortable and familiar. The words escaped him. Once more they embraced. As he held her in his arms, he looked to his best friend and then back to her. He whispered his request into her ear. It was simple and direct. She promised him what he wanted to hear. He nodded as he released her. Someone would be there to take care of Ben and he knew he could trust her not to fail him. 

* 

One person was left before the final goodbyes to his family. Ben. They both knew that they couldn't say goodbye in front of everyone else, so Ray led the way into the dining room. There in the dark, the two friends sat. Neither could speak. Quietly, Ben began. He tried to put into words all he was feeling. He let Ray know that he was his best friend and that he trusted him with his life. Ben told Ray that he was one of the finest people he had the privilege of knowing. He apologized for his actions regarding Victoria and what those same actions almost cost his family. Ben asked Ray for forgiveness for those actions. He asked forgiveness for letting down his one, true friend. 

Ray sat there silently listening to his friend's words. How could he tell him that it was he who needed forgiveness for firing that shot? Simple words were escaping him once again. Slowly, he needed to do this slowly, but of course there wasn't time for that now. Ray told Ben that he had long since forgiven him and that he hoped that one day Ben would be able to forgive him for shooting him in the back. Ray tried to continue, but was silenced by Ben. 

Ben sat there hearing his friend ask him for the same forgiveness. How could it be denied? It had all been a horrible accident. Ben looked at Ray for the first time since they had entered the dining room. He saw his own tears and pain mirrored in the eyes of his best friend. The words they both needed to hear were spoken. Silence took over once more. 

A man entered the room and spoke the words Ray had dreaded hearing since he had decided to do this. It was time to go. 

Ray and Ben stood and hugged each other tightly, neither wanting to be the first to let go. They walked back towards the living room, arms around each other's shoulder. They had said what they had needed to say. Maybe, even while they had to be apart, some of those old wounds would finally be able to heal. 

Once they were in the living room, they separated. Ray went to his family to finish the agonizing process of saying goodbye. Ben rejoined Meg who was standing on the porch with the others, allowing the family one final moment together. 

* 

Minutes later, amid tears and hugs, Ray walked out onto the porch with the rest of his family. All who had gathered joined the family as they escorted Ray to the car that would take him to places unknown. As Ray opened the door, he looked back at his best friend and the woman who stood beside him. Ben would be alright, Ray had no doubt about that. He walked back and hugged everyone for what he hoped was not the last time. As he stepped back from Ben, he promised that when this was all over, they would go to his father's cabin and finish the remaining repairs. Ben couldn't speak, he just nodded his agreement. Hoping it was a promise Ray would be able to keep. 

Ray went back to his family and after saying everything but goodbye, he got in the car. 

As the car pulled out of the drive, Ray looked at his friends and family, promising himself he would return. It was a promise he intended to keep. 

The End 

rebecca-warth@uiowa.edu 

* * *


End file.
